She Needs Me/My Cute Wife

I'm drawn back into the world of the living by a repeating bell. It's really quite annoying to be in a deep slumber, about 1/4 through the night's sleep, and realize that someone's dialing your phone, over and over.

I creep my way across the room, arms raised to front for object detection. If anyone were four stories tall and looking through my window, they'd have sworn I was a real Zombie wading through darkness towards a blinking red light.

"Hello?"

"Hey, so I'm at Lowe's and I need help. How do you know which bulbs can sense when it's dark and when it's light?"

"Huh?" (Thinking who is this Lowe guy and why does he have bulbs?)

"I can't tell which one's to get for our floodlight"

It all comes back to me; I'm standing in a dark hotel room 7000 miles away, and my wife's called me to help her with home improvement. I say, "Babe, the light bulbs are all the same, it's the fixture that has a sensor."

"Oh, well..., what kind should I get?"

::Thinking for a moment:: "Get a small floodlight, like 2 inches in diameter, anywhere from 45 to 75 watts."

"Oh okay. But didn't you have big ones?"

"Nah, small ones, 2 inches in diameter." And I'm standing there, half-dazed and impressed that I know the word diameter in a deep slumber. "Babe, I'm going back to bed. It's been only 2 hours since I went to sleep."

"Alllright. I'll just try and pick some bulbs out"

"Okay, goodnight." And I hang up the phone, with a smirk on my face. My wife called all the way to the other side of the world to see if I knew where they keep the 'magic lights' that I use for security and energy conservation at our house. Damn, she's cute.

And then I zombie it over to bed again, my four story giant at the window still confused, and I'm 'out like a light.'