Continuation

I've been noted as having blogged very little lately. Several emails and a few phone calls wondering how I'm doing, and where I'm at, all responded to by saying that I find that I am doing well, and just haven't found an 'Our Lady' voice as of late. But I'm seeing that others I read are likely in the same boat.

If you haven't found it yet, Google-Reader is a handy tool for reducing your time surfing from blog to blog. I can never remember all the different people I read, so every time I stumble back upon a blog that I read, I add it to those I've subscribed to on Google-Reader. That way I know what I read, and I know what's new. New posts arrive in Bold.


After typing the above, I get the distinct feeling that if I could read your thoughts, or if I'd said that to you over coffee, you'd respond with 'Tom, I hate to break it to you, but you are the last one in the country to get on-board with Google-Reader. In fact, only a few outside of the U.S. aren't using it, and they generally live in wig-wam type structures, slaughter pigs, and pick berries."


The point is - of those I read, 2009 seems like the end of the blog.
No one is writing anymore. No one is reading either.

The fad is over.


And for me, my life has turned. I'm no longer building a life with Alison, and I'm no longer fighting her illness with her. And I'm no longer a grief-stricken mess. Maybe inside I am. But generally not.



If I could end my life (metaphorically) and start-a-fresh (metaphorically), I'd make sure I took every single lesson I've learned, every single story I've lived, every single kiss Alison gave me, and pack it into my bag, and head on down the road.




See you on down the road...

Excited For Spring

Is it too early write that as a Post Title? I ask because last night I checked the weather, warning that Arctic air will be blowing down onto the Indianapolis area starting today, and there is a "Cold Air Advisory" for the rest of the week. The type of air that bites your skin, making it eerily red instantly, and making you squint your eyes, so as not to lose them.

But I'm here in Florida, and yesterday I sat at the pool reading an article entitled 'Bush Camping: How to Survive 5 years in a Tent.' The article is in the current issue of "Road RUNNER: Motorcycle Touring and Travel." It's reinvigorated my longing for those two-wheeled machines in hibernation in the garage. I'd almost forgotten about them. But I think it's more like repressing them so as not to long so dearly for the coming of Spring.

I can't wait for the first Spring weekend.

Speaking of magazines, the racks are full of hyper-specialized magazines. And that's just the problem with magazines: are any of us really into a specialization that much? Could I really want to read about weight-lifting and how to 'have a bodacious bod by Spring' every three weeks? What about a monthly subscription to read about the latest cars? I won't even mention the political/social clamoring, or the celebrity who-dun-it's.

I guess everyone has ONE special interest, though, and I've found mine.

I could read about possible motorcycle routes, about early morning coffee followed up with leaning into the curves, about places to stop and see, and about the techniques of self-preservation on the road - everyday. Good job, RoadRUNNER, you were a beacon yesterday for me, a perfect fit in the mess that is the magazine rack.

New Years Visit

January 2nd was sunny and brisk, so having accomplished what I needed to at work, I drove to visit Alison's grave. I haven't been avoiding it...but I could be accused of such. It was just that there's no gravestone there yet. By the time they were finished carving it, the ground wouldn't allow for the footer to be poured. I feel bad about that. I guess it just takes time.


I didn't stay long. I stood there by myself, just trying to be there - be present. I let myself feel what I felt. I could feel the sun in my eyes, I could feel the cold bite at my cheek, and I could feel it slowly cool my jeans until my legs were cold. I didn't, however, feel Alison's presence. She's just as much anywhere else as there. And I was sad about that. It would be nice to have a place to truly connect back. But death is expansive and permanent.

Life is too short.

Tomorrow I'm flying with my family for a vacation where the sun shines. Time to relax. Read some books on the beach. Oh, and run. Yesterday I tipped the scale at 224. Not that it's ALL BAD weight. But it's a good thing I'm 6'4. Last year when Ali and I were doing great things with our diets, I was 204. Christmas and New Years really packs it on!