Reactive Vs. Proactive Changes

You may laugh at this, but for a long time now I haven't believed in personality.

I've been thinking this way and talking about it for years. I mean, what is a personality?

Personality: (noun)

-The quality or condition of being a person.
-The totality of qualities and traits, as of character or behavior, that are peculiar to a specific person.
-The pattern of collective character, behavioral, temperamental, emotional, and mental traits of a person: Though their personalities differed, they got along as friends.
-Distinctive qualities of a person, especially those distinguishing personal characteristics that make one socially appealing.

Okay, that's the dictionary definition: write the first two off. Those are conceptions based on culture. Because our culture believes a person is owned by his/her traits, character, behavior and temperament.

I'd argue that believing "that's just how he/she is, that's just his or her personality" is a load of malarky.

Here's how I get to my conclusion:

If you have a traumatic experience, would your personality change? Would you behave differently? Lets look at some examples: do veterans of war sometimes come back and act differently? Could a person involved in a plane wreck be fearful of riding without being in control after that accident? Could a person who's embarrassed in front of a large crowd be a little more timid thereafter?

I'd call that reactive behavioral change. And if we need to: reactive personality change.

If you can reactively change it, you can proactively change it. You ultimately have control of who you are, over your behavior, over your disposition, over your attitude.... So if you assume control of all of these, you may choose to act or even feel differently under a set of circumstances. At that point, you no longer exhibit personality traits. You proactively disassemble your personality.

Okay, so if you like the way you behave and feel at all times, then you can put'r back on cruise control and embrace the term personality. Cruise control is nice. It's easy and great on long trips. But how long is this trip? Can you really afford to relinquish control?

Point is, if you want to change then change. Change small things at first, like brushing your teeth with your other hand. Then try writing a single letter of your alphabet in your handwriting in a different manner. Do these consistently to change. Then change the way you tie your shoes. Which shoe you put on first. Eventually, you'll be able to take on whatever part of your identity preconceptions you wish. You'll change your personality. Or just obliterate it.