Looking Back, Looking Forward

December 12Th, 2003.

I left Washington D.C. at 9:30AM with 12 CD's in the changer, all my clothes in the trunk, and a ring in the center console. My knees shook for the entire 12-hour drive to northern Indiana. The streets in town were dark and wet from a recent snow, and I pulled into the alley next to the house and walked to the door with the big ring box showing in my jeans-pocket. Ali was excited to see me; it had been since before Thanksgiving since we'd been together.

The last time we met, we rented a cabin in beautiful Moraine State Park outside Butler, Pennsylvania. I had already decided to make her my wife. I'd called her father on the return to D.C. When I asked if I for permission to marry his little girl, he said, "You just gotta answer one question Tom, do you like her?"

I told him I loved her. He said, "That's not what I asked. Do you like her?"

I said, "Well yeah, I like her. Of Course I do."

Ol' Dave said, "Well hell, then, yeah you can marry her!"

Great relationship advice from 'Captain Morgan.'

But this story is about proposing, not about asking permission. As I brushed off the cold in her mom's living room, December 12Th, I asked if we could do Christmas right then and there. Ali laughed, knowing that I can't keep surprises long. They kill me.

After exchanging gifts, I knelt down and asked her is she'd make me the happiest man alive, and be my wife forever. It probably came out rattly, meek, like a giant mouse, because I was as nervous as I'd been in my entire life. Not because I didn't know that she'd say yes, but because 'that was it.' The Step. The Promise. The Oath.

We talked about a date afterwards, and both coming from meager beginnings and barely pennies in our pockets, we decided to wed at the Justice of the Peace. We chose to use what money we did have towards starting our household, and buying a house at our first duty station. What exciting times!

So then we were wed, 5 years ago today. December 24Th, 2003. My mom was supposed to be the only one there as a witness, because we had plans to do another ceremony when the weather was nicer. But my little sister was a stow-away, and showed at the court-house against my wishes. Good thing too, because we needed two witnesses. :)

So here I am, 5 years later, reflecting back on what has been one wild ride, both fulfilling and heart-breaking. But I am also looking forward. Because whatever I am still here for, I'm going to be ready for it. I'm a better man for having loved Alison. I won't even try to guess what lies ahead. But I'm choosing to be optimistic.