Thinking back to when I was a kid, everything was magic. Cars were
magical. They made noise and went fast. My dad working on ours became
a magician. He had power to fix them. As he showed me how too, they
became less magical to me. I learned that the machine compressed the
gas and air, and a spark is designed to make it all go 'bang', thrusting
down the cylinder, making another rise up and compress, plus drive a
shaft connected to a wheel or two or four. Each component made sense
once you knew the theory and practice, and each component didn't haste
to lose its magic.
Changing leaves were magical. Then I learned about the earth's path
around the sun, and the sun's apparent path across the sky, and then
chlorophyll and how energy is transferred to support the trees, and all of
the sudden autumn was science, not magic. Snow and winter lost its
magic in quick succession.
And thus it went when growing up. One thing after another ceased being
magical as I began to understand the inner workings. I'm a
self-proclaimed skill-hound. I learn everything I can.
That doesn't mean each thing lost its beauty. Changing leaves are still
one of the most beautiful things Indiana can offer.
Love follows the same pattern as automobiles. When two people first fall
in love, it's a brand new car. The car is fast and has all kinds of new
functions we discover and don't understand. So love is magical for us.
But as we introduce ourselves to our love, we begin to understand the
science behind each function. And if we study it, we learn how the
whole thing works, and it gives us the ability to keep it running strong
and finely-tuned.
But it's funny that we think that magic happens only if we find
"Mr./Mrs. Right". Like each party is a chemical, and only combined
under the right circumstances will the chemicals react in love. Love
seems magical only in the beginning; that's my argument. After that,
we're risking derailing and losing functionality unless we understand
the process and maintain the machine of love.
Love is still as beautiful as the autumn leaves once you understand how
to love someone. It's something beautiful. It's the most fulfilling
non-magical thing.
mmm hmmm... I see what you are saying. You are saying magic is hard to maintain ... and so you must begin, after the beginning, to look at it and maintain it and because of that, it becomes less "magical" ... I understand that.
ReplyDeleteBut I think the process of love is magical ... the fact that some of us have the ability to meet someone and concentrate on making their life better. I think I was the most selffish beast on the earth- probably still am ... it's just that Conrad helps me curb that. I try very hard to remember to put his needs and wants up there with mine ... and I can't believe, every single day that he loves me and wanted to marry me. It took a LONG TIME (I'm 33) to find him ... and I'm reminded everyday that it could be fleeting ... I think the fact I found him is/was magical.
I recently heard someone say, "... being in love turns gravity from a law to a mere suggestion." I think this is a nice parallel to the magical-ness of love you wrote about.
ReplyDeleteBut, I also agree that love is something that has to be maintained. I've often talked about how I continually make an effort to find new reasons and ways to love my wife. The reason for this is that many of the things about her that I loved at first, are the things that can drive me crazy now. So my search is a fight against gravity.
Love is a decision.
ReplyDeleteThat decision is what maintains it.
Nothing magical about that!
But then what do I know...been married for 37 years! LOL
That's beautiful what you wrote... I think you should write a book!
ReplyDelete-Stranger passing by
Love can be magical. For me it takes a lot of work to keep the love and magic flowing. Especially when you feel like your floating away from each other at times.
ReplyDeleteI am however grateful for the magic that connected our two souls together and the love that we share that brought two handsome little boys into the world. That is magical to me and the love that I feel for those boys is a love that is so deep its unexplainable.
How eloquent (of course, you usually are - no surprise there). Consider yourself lucky and/or blessed, depending on who you would prefer to "thank," for the lesson you've learned about love. Many people never learn it, and even more probably never find what you have. Some others may find it but circumstances complicate it...You're so fortunate to have been able to *experience* it, and to continue to learn from it. Once again, I envy the opportunities life has offered you. There's no law that says you won't find it again, but I know that's not what you want, or want to think about right now. So don't. Just keep remembering what she was to and for you. Take comfort in that.
ReplyDelete-Katie