It was rainy, cold and windy this weekend. My mom and I managed to eek out a kayaking trip on a new section (new to us) of the Eel River. I was admittedly skeptical as we left in the rain, with 35 mph gusts of wind and 39 degree weather, and as we shoved off into the river, it was moving fast from the rain, and it was cold to the touch. But we enjoyed it, and half way through the sun came out and burnt up all the clouds.I'm feeling turbulent in my heart as well. Several times this weekend I wanted to 'just go.' Drive home. Drive somewhere. But I'm still in my head no matter where I go. So it was a time of letting myself relax.
I immediately started the laundry when I got home tonight, washing the memory card my mom so graciously entrusted to me. Luckily, it still works! Cleaner now too.
Looks like a very nice and quiet day out there.
ReplyDeleteGlad that your trying to enjoy yourself.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to "just sit" with discomfort, isn't it? (more than discomfort... pain really) That takes a strong person. I'm proud of you, T.
ReplyDeleteTrying to put myself where you are, my mind goes to a place where being alone consists of listening to my thoughts, wondering why is it that I am still breathing, and how it is that my heart can hurt so, but yet I am still alive. I do not know how you are doing it, but you are. And even though this existence is shaky, continue your course. At some point you will be focusing on the stream ahead and not where your oar plunges into it. We are proud of you. Love,
ReplyDeleteKimberly, Craig, Madi, and Kenzie
Re: your new post: people are still listening. It matters because we all matter, and God put us here to help each other walk through life. I would ask, What good is anything at all if you keep it to yourself and take it with you when you go? You may be telling someone like me something we don't even know we need to hear yet. Or maybe a reader will be God's mouthpiece to you some time. I hope you keep going!
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